For anyone who knows me well, you know the state of mind that I have been in for the past two weeks. I like to call it Guilty Homesick. I know, I know, people have told me there should be no guilt about it, but still I can't help feeling that way.
See I call it guilty homesick because here I am back home with people that I love, and people that love me back and yet I am homesick for my friends and "family" in Kakamega, Kenya. So you see the guilty part? I mean how do you walk around with the people you love so much and say...I really miss some other people too. I guess its only fair, because I did miss the people here when I was there but that was expected of me. I was missing my husband, children, parents, sister, brothers and my church family. No one who hasn't been there with me really expects me to miss people that I have only spent time with twice, yet I do.
Its funny because after I came back from Kenya and was looking something up I read all about how one of the whole experiences of going to Kenya was to meet the people. That they are some of the kindest people who expect to be greeted with a smile and at least a handshake....and I couldn't have understood that more than I do now.
Kenya, no not just Kenya, Kakamega Kenya and Deliverance Church and it's congregation will always be another home, another family to me. You would not think in two trips there that we have been able to share that much together, yet it feels like a lifetime when I think back on it. I haven't been through some of the things with them that I have struggled through with friends and family here, but there is still such a strong connection. I can only attribute that to God. I know some of you, who are my family and friends that don't necessarily believe yet, think that is just silly but I tell you the truth there is an absolute connection there that no one could break.
I hope someday every person I know finds that place for themselves. That place where they can go and find that spiritual connection, that lifetime love of a place and a people. A place that will root itself deep inside to stay forever. A place that you will check on the weather so you know how the day is going, and constantly add 7 hours to your time to know what your friends across the world might be doing right now.
I have had so many people try to tell me why I love going there so much, and I am sure they are all true to some extent. But, I do know that each time I go, it is a sacrifice for not just myself but the people I leave behind. Some people don't understand why I would be willing to do that, I hope that someday, each person will. That each person will find that place that just continues to call them back, maybe even before they have left. Where when you leave, a group of people stands with their faces to the fence just watching you go until they cannot watch you go anymore, and when you get home they email to make sure you all made it safely, they check on your family, pray for your family and they continue to give you words of wisdom and encouragement from thousands of miles away.
Karibu tena was what the kids chanted on our last day of VBS....Come Again.
So if you see me around and it seems like my mind is somewhere else....I'm probably adding seven hours to the time. Don't take it personally. God has truly placed some amazing people in my life and I would never want to do without you either...I'm just a little guilty homesick.
